I have no idea why but I woke up to this thought in morning, just a while ago. And it hit me quite hard and got me thinking - how much can a love marriage hurt? Like really... how much?
The whole idea got me introspecting into individuals who take this way too seriously - starting with parents to siblings to relatives to friends.
I find a million reasons for many love marriages not working and the ones that work are probably lesser in number than the ones that work. Why?
In my experience of meeting various kinds of people, I've come to understand that this whole 'idea' is accepted... but how? How much pain lies beneath those wonderful honeymoon photos we all click the 'like' button for? How much of hard work, persuasion, cries and sleepless nights lie beneath that artistic wedding photography? It's never the money - we never say 'how much money has gone into this wedding you know?' That's just bull shit and people who think that are low. Just low. And idiotic. And those people don't feature anywhere in my life!
I guess the thought sprung up from a story my brother told me a couple of days ago. About how a family deserted this guy who married someone against his parent's wishes. And my brother joked (like in a Visu's film) about how things would get alright after the 'first child' is born. Seriously, I have some questions...
I'm really not trying to give a one dimensional approach to this. But just the whole thought of family being unsupportive of this idea and making strong individuals weak, pray for courage, scar them with words sounds so unfair to me.
And how much are we hurting them by falling in love?
More or less, it is not something we go looking for. Like it says in a film that's dear to me - it hits you. It hits you hard. Like you never know when. And when it does... you don't know what to do with it. You either embrace it or you trash it!
It's probably a waste of time on some level. It shatters your focus, especially if you've found the wrong person. And I pray no one does. Because it can be one of the most boring trips ever, if you ask me. It's like you don't even know your life has collapsed when it already has and you live in denial about your own collapse for years! So that's truly a problem between two people right? When it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Why are external factors trying hard not to make it work when things are working fine? Why are external factors influencing the other way round? All this is not unfair, but falling in love is!
Way to go!
I'm just saying - there are things parents can say for who they are. But the end of it all, why don't they stand together as a family? And even if they do, why don't they do it with their full heart? There are so many hypo critic parents I tell you. For the love of their child, they get them married and then talk behind their own child's back? Like what are you man? Do you even deserve any respect? Who even let you be a father/mother?
All this is such a big deal that many young people feel it's just better to stay the single way. No one wants to dare! Because no one wants to hurt! Ha~!
I just believe in one thing - no matter what... if it's meant to happen it will. The process can be smooth, rocky, thorny etc. But if there is courage and fearlessness, it will happen.
And to me, a love marriage is taking life in my own hands. I take responsibility of my own decisions. If my marriage doesn't work out, I have no one to blame but myself. If it was the other way round - I have a few people to point fingers at. Because they didn't let me dare. They didn't let me take my own decisions. Because they didn't let me be me and instead infused their thoughts upon me when I didn't know they did.
Honestly, how much can this so called society talk? Say they never get tired and they talk all the time... where is our strength to ignore? Can't we do that? After all, to ignore is the path to inner peace. How many want to understand it? Materialistic world has spoilt the minds of many possible good men in this world.
There is no pride.
There is no fame.
There is no society.
There is no money.
In the end, only the utmost truth survive.
There is only good. There is only father.
Together there remains only 'good father' long after the ashes are gone.
There is only good. There is only mother.
Together there remains only 'good mother' long after the ashes are gone.
And so on for every dear relationship.
So does this apply for the protagonist of the whole play! (Mind you, I'm not being one dimensional.)
At the end of it all, beneath all that dirt one has accumulated for himself, there remains the real human hidden with fat layers of ego which he has no clue about!
And while he's passing there's no point thinking - "If..."
Meghana Karthik
11.19 am
Chennai
The whole idea got me introspecting into individuals who take this way too seriously - starting with parents to siblings to relatives to friends.
I find a million reasons for many love marriages not working and the ones that work are probably lesser in number than the ones that work. Why?
In my experience of meeting various kinds of people, I've come to understand that this whole 'idea' is accepted... but how? How much pain lies beneath those wonderful honeymoon photos we all click the 'like' button for? How much of hard work, persuasion, cries and sleepless nights lie beneath that artistic wedding photography? It's never the money - we never say 'how much money has gone into this wedding you know?' That's just bull shit and people who think that are low. Just low. And idiotic. And those people don't feature anywhere in my life!
I guess the thought sprung up from a story my brother told me a couple of days ago. About how a family deserted this guy who married someone against his parent's wishes. And my brother joked (like in a Visu's film) about how things would get alright after the 'first child' is born. Seriously, I have some questions...
- Do these parents think the child who goes his/her way doesn't care about the family?
- Do they think their child is happy being away from his/her parents?
- If they're the ones who brought them up, on some level shouldn't they take responsibility of his decisions and that too an important one like this? And hello, at the beginning and end of all - isn't he 'YOUR' son, 'YOUR' daughter?
- And tomorrow if a parent is ill, won't the child take responsibility of it? (So you can push them aside of course...)
- and what are they going to take away when they breathe their last? How much of their pride, societal name, money and friends are they going to carry when they die? None!
- The mothers wail, fathers emotionally abuse... but how much do they think they're hurting their child? Do they know? Do they realize? - I don't think so. And I don't think they want to care. That's probably how 'parents' are made.
I'm really not trying to give a one dimensional approach to this. But just the whole thought of family being unsupportive of this idea and making strong individuals weak, pray for courage, scar them with words sounds so unfair to me.
And how much are we hurting them by falling in love?
More or less, it is not something we go looking for. Like it says in a film that's dear to me - it hits you. It hits you hard. Like you never know when. And when it does... you don't know what to do with it. You either embrace it or you trash it!
It's probably a waste of time on some level. It shatters your focus, especially if you've found the wrong person. And I pray no one does. Because it can be one of the most boring trips ever, if you ask me. It's like you don't even know your life has collapsed when it already has and you live in denial about your own collapse for years! So that's truly a problem between two people right? When it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Why are external factors trying hard not to make it work when things are working fine? Why are external factors influencing the other way round? All this is not unfair, but falling in love is!
Way to go!
I'm just saying - there are things parents can say for who they are. But the end of it all, why don't they stand together as a family? And even if they do, why don't they do it with their full heart? There are so many hypo critic parents I tell you. For the love of their child, they get them married and then talk behind their own child's back? Like what are you man? Do you even deserve any respect? Who even let you be a father/mother?
All this is such a big deal that many young people feel it's just better to stay the single way. No one wants to dare! Because no one wants to hurt! Ha~!
I just believe in one thing - no matter what... if it's meant to happen it will. The process can be smooth, rocky, thorny etc. But if there is courage and fearlessness, it will happen.
And to me, a love marriage is taking life in my own hands. I take responsibility of my own decisions. If my marriage doesn't work out, I have no one to blame but myself. If it was the other way round - I have a few people to point fingers at. Because they didn't let me dare. They didn't let me take my own decisions. Because they didn't let me be me and instead infused their thoughts upon me when I didn't know they did.
Honestly, how much can this so called society talk? Say they never get tired and they talk all the time... where is our strength to ignore? Can't we do that? After all, to ignore is the path to inner peace. How many want to understand it? Materialistic world has spoilt the minds of many possible good men in this world.
There is no pride.
There is no fame.
There is no society.
There is no money.
In the end, only the utmost truth survive.
There is only good. There is only father.
Together there remains only 'good father' long after the ashes are gone.
There is only good. There is only mother.
Together there remains only 'good mother' long after the ashes are gone.
And so on for every dear relationship.
So does this apply for the protagonist of the whole play! (Mind you, I'm not being one dimensional.)
At the end of it all, beneath all that dirt one has accumulated for himself, there remains the real human hidden with fat layers of ego which he has no clue about!
And while he's passing there's no point thinking - "If..."
Meghana Karthik
11.19 am
Chennai
Run from what's comfortable. Forget safety. Live where you fear to live. Destroy your reputation. Be notorious. - Rumi
